


Making it Personal

by Amorfati32



Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M, Heavy Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-27
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2019-02-22 16:06:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13170393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amorfati32/pseuds/Amorfati32
Summary: Post-One Son. Mulder and Scully try to move on after their argument, but it's not as easy as it seems.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the following Tumblr prompts:   
> \- Could you write post Ons Son. Things are awkward , they are at Mulder's apartment. He's being an ass re "making it personal " remark /Diana , and Scully blows and walks out. He follows and they address the ftf hallway in the hallway , clear the air and awkward but hot first time make out/ kissing happens.  
> \- Post ONE SON. Scully, still mad at Mulder, decided to distract herself and go on vocation. (Somewhere warm and hot and far away from everything or better everyone...) When she comes back a few weeks later Mulder is partnered with D. Fowley. Missunderstandings, unspoken feelings, denials, jealousy and a huge fight make the two agents drift further apart...

It was just past 1am, and Mulder was showing no signs of falling asleep. He sat on the sofa, flicking through television channels mindlessly, but he couldn’t relax. He’d been on edge for a while now, following the events of the past few days, and even now his mind kept replaying his argument with Scully. She didn’t like or trust Diana, that much was obvious, but he just couldn’t understand why she would suggest that Diana was involved with abductions. He knew Diana, and he knew she was on his side. She had to be, because if she wasn’t…

He changed channel one more time and was about to settle on a basketball rerun when he heard a shuffling outside of his door. Muting the television he then stood, picking up his gun from the edge of the coffee table before walking over to the door. Before his caller had chance to react, he threw open the door, his gun poised and ready to shoot.

“Mulder!”

“Jesus…” He found himself face-to-face with Scully, who threw her hands up at the sight of him with his gun. He lowered his weapon immediately, shooting her a sheepish look. “Sorry, I thought you were…” Realization dawns on him. “Scully, it’s 1am. What are you doing here?”

“I umm…I came by but I wasn’t sure whether you’d be awake.”

“You know me Scully, I never sleep.” He glanced down as she lowered her hands, his eyes catching sight of an envelope she was holding. He swallowed. “What’s that?” Huffing out a sarcastic laugh, he shook his head. “Please don’t tell me that’s what I think it is.”

“That depends on what you think it is.”

“Your resignation.”

“Is that what you want it to be?”

“Don’t play games with me Scully.”

“I’m not the one playing games.” She took a deep breath, as though willing herself to keep it together. They’ve argued enough as it is. “It’s just a note to tell you that I’m taking some time off. I won’t be in the office tomorrow, and I didn’t want to wake you.”

Mulder gritted his teeth. “How long?”

“A week. Maybe two. I’ve got the vacation time if I need it.” He opened his mouth to speak, but Scully cut him off, handing him the envelope. “And before you ask I’ve already cleared it with the Assistant Director.”

“If this is about earlier –”

“It’s about me wanting to see my family,” she snapped, interrupting him once again.

“Well…good.” Clearly his throat, Mulder stepped away from the door. “Do you want to come in?”

“I’d better not.” He knew what she meant – she didn’t want to.

He wasn’t quite sure when they drifted apart, but the thought still saddened him. “Come in Scully.” He wanted to talk to her, to see if there was any way he could try to soften things between them, but it seemed his partner wasn’t too keen on playing ball.

“What do you want?”

“Just come inside.”

Scully’s expression clouded but she did as he said and stepped inside, though Mulder presumed it may be more to do with the fact she didn’t want his neighbors listening to their argument as opposed to her actually wanting to come in. He closed the door, then gestured for her to go into the living room. She declined, content to stand by the door, no doubt ready to make her exit as soon as she could.

“So you spoke to Skinner about this?”

“I contacted him to submit a request for leave, yes.”

“Before you asked me.”

“As far as I’m aware Mulder, I don’t have to consult you when I make my decisions in life.”

“Is this what we do now? Just snipe at one another?”

“I don’t know, is it?”

“This is about earlier,” he replied, running his gun-free hand through his hair wearily. He wasn’t quite ready to put down his weapon, part of him afraid that Scully would see a chance to shoot him again. “I know you think Diana is to connected to –”

“You told me I was making it personal,” she spat, folding her arms in front of her. This was Angry Scully. Scully who meant business. He’d seen this side of her before, when she was confronting suspects or colleagues who weren’t taking her seriously, but he’d rarely had it directed at him. “You know what? You’re right. It is personal to me Mulder. It’s been personal to me ever since I was abducted and ended up missing three months of my life. It was personal to me when my sister was murdered in my apartment, when I found out it was me they wanted dead. It was personal to me when I found out that as a result of my abduction I was unable to have children, when I discovered I had an implant in my neck which when removed gave me cancer, and it was personal to me when I discovered I had a daughter and my little girl…” Her voice broke and she paused, trying to compose herself. “So don’t mock me for taking it personal, because at the end of the day, the reason I’m here is to discover my own truth, to find out exactly what happened to me and to find the people responsible.”

“I get that Scully, I really do. I just don’t get why you’re so against Diana, why you won’t trust me on this.”

She sighed. “Look Mulder, I already told you, she was collecting information on female abductees, and yet her activities haven’t been reported on her FBI records. Don’t you think it’s strange that she comes back into your life now?”

“She wouldn’t do that. I know her.”

“You knew her.”

“We were married.” He looked up at Scully, surprised when she didn’t react to his words. 

“I know,” she replied calmly.

“You know?”

“The Gunmen pulled up all of the information they could find on her.” 

“I should have told you.”

“It’s none of my business,” she replied matter-of-factly. “Besides, we don’t want things getting too personal.”

“Now you’re just twisting my words. Look Scully, you don’t like Diana and that’s fine. But you’ve clearly got it in for her and I’m not sure why. These accusations of yours…you’re reaching, and until you bring me some cold, hard evidence, I -”

“After all this time, everything you claim to have seen…now you want evidence?” She scoffed. “You just don’t want to believe, because you don’t want to think you’ve been played by her, but you don’t understand how you’re acting.”

“Is this because you’re jealous?” Scully’s expression clouded and instantly he knew he’d made a mistake. 

“What?” She shook her head dismissively. “I’m not jealous. Certainly not of her.”

“That’s why you’ve got it in for her.” He needed to stop talking, and he needed to do it soon.

“Go to hell.” Without warning Scully turned on her heel and headed towards the door, flinging it open and stepping out into the hallway. Mulder hurried after her, determined not to let her have the last word. 

“Scully!” She kept walking, her gaze trained on the elevator in front of her. Mulder caught her quickly, grabbing hold of her hand and pulling her back towards him. 

She turned and pushed him, but he stood his ground. “Get off of me.”

“Wait a second. I’m -”

“You’ve already said enough. I swear to god Mulder, if you keep talking our partnership will be broken beyond repair.” She made no effort to move.

“I didn’t mean what I said. That was low.”

“It hasn’t stopped you before.” 

“I wasn’t mocking you. When I said about you making it personal. You’re right, you’ve got every reason to. Everything you’ve lost…” he shook his head. “I’m sorry. Don’t go.”

“I can’t do this tonight Mulder.” Scully sighed heavily, looking up at him with tired eyes. “I’ll see you in a few weeks.”

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, that’s what they said, Mulder thought to himself. Yet he knew that if Scully walked out, their time apart would only create further distance between them. “Please Scully.” Taking in their surroundings, he shook his head. “It’s like history repeating itself isn’t it?” She looked at him blankly. “You telling me you can’t do this. Me begging you to stay. Maybe I should be checking you for bees.” He knew she recalled their previous hallway encounter, though apparently her memory of what happened was hazy. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry for everything you’ve had to go through, everything you continue to go through.”

“Don’t make this about you.”

“I’m not.” He couldn’t win. “I said it before, but I can’t do any of this without you.” Scully looked as though she was about to comment, no doubt ready to say something about Diana, but she seemed to change her mind at the last moment. “I know things have been difficult between us recently, and I know I’m to blame for a lot of it, but…just promise to come back. Go spend time with your family, but come back. I haven’t given you much reason to stay, but I want you to. I need you to.”

“Mulder –”

“We have our differences,” he said, stepping in closer towards her. “But that’s what makes us us. You keep me on my toes, you keep me in line.”

“Don’t,” she said, shaking her head. “Don’t do this again, not tonight.”

“Again?” He raised his eyebrows, clearly stunned at her admission. “You remember what happened…here…over the summer?”

“I can’t do this right now.”

“You do remember.” Her expression told him everything. “It still stands Scully, all of it.” She said nothing and so, in a moment of bravery, he continued. “You save me Scully, countless times and I’m grateful. I may not show it, but I’m grateful to you…for you. I…” He shook his head, wanting to say the words, but well aware she wouldn’t accept them, not after the past few days. Half convinced that if she left she wouldn’t come back, Mulder leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. He kissed her, softly, tenderly, wanting to show her what he couldn’t find the words to speak. The move took Scully by surprise and before she could react he pulled away, clearing his throat.

“I have to go,” she sniffed, wrapping her arms around her middle protectively as she stepped back, out of his reach.

“Stay.”

“No,” she insists, firmly. “I need to go. I’ll see you soon.”

“Not tomorrow?”

She shook her head, her expression darkening. “Is that why you kissed me? To get me to stay?”

“No, no not at all.”

“Nothing has changed Mulder,” she insisted. “I’ll see you in a few weeks.”

As she turned to walk away, Mulder opened his mouth to call out, to apologize once again, but something stopped him. Instead he watched wordlessly as Scully walked towards the elevator, heading out of his building, but hopefully not his life.


	2. Chapter 2

It had been two and a half weeks since Scully had seen Mulder. Two and a half weeks since they’d argued, since she’d stormed out of his apartment building after their exchange of words. It had been two and a half weeks since Mulder had kissed her. 

Once she’d returned to her apartment, still angry, she’d gotten on the phone to a travel agent, fully intending to head out to California to spend time with her brothers and their families. But as she dialled, she suddenly realized she needed time away from everyone, not just her partner. Besides, she knew her brothers would ask about work, and Bill in particular would no doubt have a few things to say about Mulder. Her partner was the last person she wanted to talk about, though she certainly didn’t want to give Bill any more ammunition to use against him. So instead she enquired about vacations further afield, and ten minutes later found herself booked on a break to St Lucia in the Caribbean. Sun, sea, relaxation, not to mention copious amounts of rum and somewhere Mulder wouldn’t think to look - it was just what she needed. 

But now she was back, and as Scully walked into the Bureau building, she felt a ball of anxiety in the pit of her stomach as she prepared to face her partner once again. They hadn’t spoken during her time away, and for a time at least, she was able to put all thoughts of Mulder and Diana Fowley aside to enjoy her time away, managing to relax and feeling better than she had done in a while. Now though, she knew she wasn’t going to escape her partner, and well aware of how determined he was, figured they would have to return to their conversation at his apartment. 

Scully took the elevator down to the basement, her apprehension increasing as she descended. She took a deep breath as the doors opened, and then made her way to the office - Mulder’s office - ready to start her day. But when she reached the open door, she stopped in her tracks. Mulder sat at the desk, but he wasn’t alone. On the opposite side of the desk sat Diana, and she certainly looked at home. Before Scully could retreat, Mulder glanced up and caught sight of her, his guilty expression telling her everything she needed to know. 

“Scully.”

Standing up straight, intending to at least look composed, despite her insides feeling anything but, Scully forced a smile. “Hi.”

Diana turned to face her, the other woman’s smile widening the moment that she saw her. “Agent Scully.”

“You’re back.”Mulder looked nervous, and Scully suspected it wasn’t just because of their previous argument. 

“Am I interrupting?” Something was up and Scully was determined to find out what it was. It didn’t take long.

“Not at all,” replied Diana before Mulder had the chance to speak. “Fox and I were just discussing our latest case.”

Scully managed not to react, but Diana’s words were like a blow to the gut. “Your case…?”

Diana’s eyes glistened, and Scully knew without a doubt that she was enjoying every second of the interaction. “Yes. I’ve been assigned to work with Fox in your absence.”

“I see.” As she glared at Mulder, Scully noted that he couldn’t quite meet her eye. Coward. It was then she realized he likely didn’t object to the assignment in the first place. In fact, it probably suited him better, she thought bitterly to herself. Diana never questioned his theories, and Scully was pretty certain she’d go along with whatever he said just to keep him on-side.

“You know how it is Agent Scully,” the woman continued. “Cases kept coming up. We couldn’t stop just because you wanted a vacation.”

Scully bit her lip so hard that she was surprised she hadn’t drawn blood. She wouldn’t give Diana - or Mulder for that matter - the satisfaction of reacting. She wouldn’t play into their hands. “I’m glad to see I didn’t hold you up,” she replied, addressing Mulder and attempting to keep her tone light, despite the fact she was seething on the inside. “So what is it you’re working on?”

Mulder quickly grabbed the file in front of him, seemingly relieved for the change in conversation. “A teenage boy in Indiana is convinced he saw -”

“Fox I don’t think there’s any sense in wasting Agent Scully’s time on this,” Diana interrupted, snatching the file from him. “We’ve already done the groundwork, and it doesn’t make sense in the three of us going out there. Besides,” she added, before he could argue. “I’m sure she has a lot of work to catch up on after her little trip.”

*Don’t react, don’t react, don’t react* Scully told herself. Diana was watching her carefully, no doubt expecting an argument, but it never came. Though just a short while ago Scully felt rested and relaxed after her break, she was now on edge once again, not to mention incredibly tired of being treated in this way. “You’re right,” she answered. “Skinner did mention that he needed my help.” He’d done no such thing, but Mulder didn’t have to know that. Diana’s knowing grin suggested however that she did. “I just came down to tell you I’d be busy for the next few days if you needed me, but I can see you’re doing just fine here. I’ll see you around.” She held her smile until she was back in the elevator, when she suddenly realized that the likelihood was Mulder didn’t need her at all. 

Xxx

When Scully heard the knock at her front door, she contemplated ignoring it, well aware of who her caller was. She paused in the doorway to the living room, hoping Mulder would take the hint and leave her be, but then she realized he’d never let things go. When the second knock came, more insistent this time, she sighed heavily and then padded over to the door, well aware that her partner had a key to her apartment, and wouldn’t be afraid to use it.

Scully flung open the door, immediately crossing her arms in front of her defensively as she saw her partner stood before her, a pained, hesitant smile on his face and a nervous expression. Good, she thought, she wanted him to be on the defense.

“Mulder, what are you doing here?” she asked, unable to keep the irritation out of her voice.

“I wanted to come by and talk about earlier.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

He ignored her, knowing full well there was. “I tried looking for you back at the office but I couldn’t find you.”

“Now you have.” She wasn’t about to make life easy for him. “What do you want? I’m about to head out.” Of course that was a lie, but she wanted him to get to the point. 

“I want to apologize about earlier. About everything,” he added, stepping into her apartment. She closed the door behind him reluctantly, although not wanting her neighbors to hear their impending argument. “But particularly this morning and the way you found out.”

“It’s fine,” replied Scully, her tone of voice suggesting it was anything but. “I know where I’m not wanted.”

“The case came up on Wednesday. It couldn’t wait and Skinner didn’t want me going alone, so he assigned Diana.”

“Mulder you don’t have to explain.”

“I do.“ 

“No you don’t.”

“You’re pissed at me.”

That was an understatement. “No, I’m not.”

“You are.”

“I’m just a little…surprised you replaced me so quickly.”

“It wasn’t my idea.”

“But you didn’t object…” His expression told her she was right. “It’s fine.”

“No it’s not.”

She sighed heavily. “I can’t do this right now.”

“That’s what you said before.”

“You know, I thought I could do this but I’m tired Mulder. I’m tired of this whole damn thing. I’m supposed to be your partner but instead I keep coming second to your ex-wife and I’m sick of it. You accuse me of making things personal Mulder, but you are the one doing just that. All I’m trying to do is turn up to work to do my job, but apparently I’m no longer needed anymore. I just hope you know what you’re doing,” she added with a frustrated sigh. “I’m on your side Mulder, despite the fact you’re treating me like the enemy. A jealous enemy,” she said, recalling his words back at his apartment a few weeks before. “I’m not sure the same could be said for Diana.”

“You don’t know her Scully,” Mulder insisted. “I do.” He frowned when his partner shook her head.

“I know enough about her,” came her reply. “And I refuse to just sit back and watch her ruin what we’ve built together. I can’t watch her hurt you again.”

“She wouldn’t do that.”

“You might be sure of that Mulder, but I’m not, and I can’t do this.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“Exactly what I’ve just said. I can’t do this. While I was on vacation I took time out to think about things and what I really want out of my life.”

She looked on as realization dawned on Mulder’s face, and suddenly he knew exactly what she was trying to say. “And you don’t want the X-Files.”

“I don’t want to work where my opinions are disregarded.”

“They’re not.”

“Or where I’m not wanted.”

“You’re wanted Scully,” Mulder replied, a hint of desperation in his voice now. “I want you. I need you.”

He had a funny way of showing it, she thought to herself. “You don’t need me Mulder. Besides, it works out for the best this way,” she said, trying to sound convincing. “You get someone who’ll support your theories, while I get regular hours and my weekends back.”

“Quantico?” He looked distraught now.

She nodded. “I received an offer I can’t refuse.”

“Can’t or won’t?” She didn’t reply. “So you’ve had this planned all along?”

“No,” she answered firmly. “Skinner contacted me last week with details of the position. I said I’d think about it. I’ve thought about it.” In actual fact she’d declined the offer originally, but after her encounter with Mulder and Diana in the office earlier that day, she’d enquired as to whether the position was still available. Luckily it was.

“This is because of Diana.”

“Mulder, you know my thoughts on this. You don’t believe me and that’s your prerogative. But I refuse to sit back and be treated like an outsider by someone who may have been involved with the people responsible for my abduction. I know what you’re about to say Mulder,” she added as he opened his mouth to speak. “This is not jealousy, or bitterness. This is just me saying it’s time to move on.”

“So everything we’ve done together, everything we’ve worked on has been for nothing?”

“Don’t make me out to be the bad guy Mulder,” she snapped. “Maybe I realized just how much this quest has cost me. Maybe I realized that I’ve already lost too much and can’t go on like this. You’ve always been telling me that I need to get out, now I am.”

“I can’t lose you Scully.”

She gave him a sad smile. “It’s too late for that.”

“So this is it?”

Taking a deep breath, Scully took a step towards him and pressed her lips to his cheek. “Take care Mulder,” she murmured before pulling away.

His mind racing, Mulder studied his partner carefully, wondering whether there was anything he could do or say to make her change her mind. But they both knew, deep down that he couldn’t give her what she wanted. With a heavy heart, Scully watched him walk out of her apartment and close the door behind him. It wasn’t until he’d gotten into his car and driven off that Scully finally let her tears fall.


End file.
